You’ll always remember this as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow.

So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. Now there are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls… Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two little mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you’ve got your parties muddled up. There’s no pussy here, just a dose that’ll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you’ve got “Replica” written down the side of your guns and the fact that I’ve got “Desert Eagle point five O” written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now… Fuck off!

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up.
We didn’t find one of ’em, not one stinkin’ dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell?
The whole hill. Smelled like… victory. Someday this war’s gonna end.

Keaton always said, “I don’t believe in God, but I’m afraid of him.”
Well I believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is Keyser Soze.

Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you.
But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.
I’ve watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
All those…moments will be lost in time, like tears…in rain. Time to die

Everybody knows that pestilences have a way of recurring in the world; yet somehow we find it hard to believe in ones that crash down on our heads from a blue sky. There have been as many plagues as wars in history; yet always plagues and wars take people equally by surprise.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Look, for the last time, we have nothing to protect but our honor.
So you can take your cheap horse piss that you call whiskey, which, by the way, is spelled without an ‘e’
and is nothing compared to a single malt scotch and you can go fuck yourself.

You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.

Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine.

Badges? We ain’t got no badges! We don’t need no badges! I don’t have to show you any stinking badges!

If you can’t explain it to a six year old, you don’t understand it yourself.

Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.

Uh uh. I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire six shots or only five?”
Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself.
But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and would blow your head clean off,
you’ve gotta ask yourself one question: “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya, punk?

Houston, we have a problem.

The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.